September 26, 2014 at 11:14am
The Unbearable Lightness of Being is Milan Kundera’s wonderful novel about the weight — and recurrence — of moments. Among other ideas, he writes about the finite nature of our lives, his characters sometimes haunted by the fixed number of things we can do while we live it. It’s quite a powerful book that deserves more consideration that I’m giving it here.
Moments are nothing new to little hunches, indeed, they have been talked about often. Truman Capote had a way of crafting beautiful ones, Pablo Neruda saw them as both inevitable and revealing, Sherlock Holmes welcomed their uncertainty, and then there’s Captain Gus McCrae’s version — one of the best sentences I have ever read.
Moments, I think, are the differentiating force between a life truly lived and a life just visited. As my life continues its happily winding road, there comes the occasional evening where I shuffle between reading, writing, blues, and wine. And when memories arise, they are always vivid moments: of finish lines as the sun is dropping, family meals that last for hours, sitting on a little chair at my niece’s school and reading something about a pout-pout fish, blue oceans in warm places, what Scotland feels like in June — from trains and ferries and hitchhiked rides across the Hebridees. So much else that supposedly matters — cars and houses, jobs and degrees — simply doesn’t factor.
I’m not saying that one category of things should be sought and the other ignored or avoided. That’s neither my place nor my concern. It’s that it’s taken me a few years to believe that silent confidence and “world-is-mine” swagger come from knowing the things that matter to you, whatever they may be. And not just knowing, but knowing, and then acting in their furtherance.
I suppose the more concise version of it is this: do the things that bring you joy and make you smile and sigh. Now let me add: and do them with swagger.
September 25, 2014 at 12:31pm
On a summer morning
I sat down
on a hillside
to think about God -
a worthy pastime.
Near me, I saw
a single cricket;
it was moving the grains of the hillside
this way and that way.
How great was its energy,
how humble its effort.
Let us hope
it will always be like this,
each of us going on
in our inexplicable ways
building the universe.
— Oh, Mary Oliver, how you reel me in (Song of the Builders is her eighth little hunches appearance). So delightfully simple. Summertime and God, crickets and hillsides, hope and beauty. It’s a lovely idea: each of us building the universe in our small, inexplicable ways. There’s a dash of yūgen in this poem, something very Robert Frost — we just go on, mile after mile, creating ourselves and the world endlessly.
September 24, 2014 at 11:37am
Miles Davis once said that the history of jazz could be reduced to four words: “Louis Armstrong. Charlie Parker.” There’s not much room to argue. Parker was a fast-moving, heroin-addicted, dead-when-he-was-34, improvising saxophone master. And much more than an entertainer. He wanted more from jazz, so he helped pioneer bebop — a form defined by quicker progressions and tempos. The idea was to create something that demanded listening. Swing music, they thought, was too danceable. They wanted something more complex.
And so you see the quote above. If what you do (or how you live or who you love or the risks you take…) intertwines with the depths of your soul, the most authentic version of you will do exactly as Parker says: find its way out of your horn. Anything else seems inexcusable.
September 22, 2014 at 9:57am
I dream well there.
— Said Jorge Luis Borges — who was going blind at the time — about why he loved Austin, Texas. He was a visiting professor at the University of Texas for a semester in 1961 and taught a class on the poetry of Argentina (and another on Walt Whitman). It reminds me of this beautiful poem by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, and it plays perfectly into the romantic vision I hold of how we should connect to the places we choose to be. How lovely a description it is — from the place you live to the people you love — that they make you better dreamers.
September 18, 2014 at 1:21pm
At a teahouse in San Francisco, I found wabi-sabi on a menu. As I explored more then, it is the Japanese idea that true beauty lies in the natural imperfection and impermanence of things (sort of like the antithesis to everything Dorian Gray stands for). In some sense, it’s a difficult concept to grasp, but it’s by no means abstract: think of something that makes you yearn — even that word is perfect, can’t you just feel it naturally stretch into yeeeeeeaarn? — it’s usually composed of some combination of exhilaration and melancholy. Then think of why it makes you feel that way. Perhaps because you know it won’t last forever, maybe it’s already past, or it could just be something unique to you, something very much of your own creation and ownership, something you breathe life into. Someone you love? Someone you loved? A memory of that summer you spent on the French Riviera? That’s wabi-sabi.
Zen Buddhism expresses this concept with a beautifully simple image — the ensō. In a world overwhelmed by the never-ending conquest of certainty, the avoidance of chance, and the clamor for needing to know what’s next, I think people should grab a paint brush and try their hand at an ensō or two.
Adding to our list of amazing words, there’s yūgen, a wonderfully ironic word to try and describe. You see it’s definition above, but one of the reason these posts are difficult for me to write is because of what yūgen actually means: there are some things, some emotions, that are too deep and mysterious for words. And I’m glad that is the case. The romantic Buddhist in me hopes that if I am ever able to perfectly describe why I love someone, I will know it’s time to walk away. Regardless, perhaps my favorite version of this comes from Silesius: tell me one more time, why is the rose?
The curse of writing is exactly that disconnect — taking an emotion you so powerfully feel, and trying to re-cast it on paper. If you’re supposed to write about what you know — and let’s say you know what love and heartbreak are — if you can’t find the right words, or the right characters or places, how are you supposed to write about what you know? In a sense, you know it so well that you are left wordless. It’s the endlessness of complexity that Alice Munro talks about.
So you have two choices: reduce it to words and feel like it loses a dimension or two, knowing that no matter how well it gathers itself into sentences or paragraphs, it never quite carries the same weight as it does inside. Or, collect your pens, find some paper, torment yourself with the simultaneous experience of creating and destroying sentences, and when the day draws to an unsatisfactory close, only you will truly know the effort and anguish that has gone into creating such a perfectly blank page.
I hope this doesn’t have the unintended consequence of suggesting that without answers, questions are gutless. Quite the opposite, I hope it encourages more of them. What I hope instead is that there is a profound comfort with not knowing.
That mystery, that uncertainty, that yūgen. Somewhere swirling amidst all three are the secrets of Rumi’s morning breeze, the whatever of life — the thing and the things that don’t belong on paper, but live somewhere indescribably deep and honest. Those things deserve your biggest smile.
September 15, 2014 at 1:12pm
It’s been a dead parade
of hours since 5 AM
a march of the bland
with the meaningless and
I can think of nothing
I have done to merit
But now, at 8 pm,
I am bathing my son
in a tub filled with bubbles
and blue battleships,
the soapy water over
his Irish white skin
makes him glisten
like a glazed doughnut
and I should tell him
to stop splashing
but this is the first time
all day I have felt like living
so how can I scold
my boy who’s found joy
in something ordinary
as water? And when
I wash his hair
with Buzz Lightyear
closes his eyes and
smiles like a puppy
being petted as I massage
the sweet lotion into
his red curls and I know
this is one good thing
I have done with my life
this day that has waited
for this moment
of water on my sleeve
and soap on my nose
to turn emptiness
— One Good Thing, by Edwin Romond. It’s a poem about moments — in this case, a singular one — that give purpose and significance to life. They can be as simple as running through the rain or as quiet as togetherness, but they should be sought. And protected.
September 14, 2014 at 1:35pm
Kindness. We’ve seen George Saunders, Mary Oliver, William Wordsworth, and my Dad talk about it quite beautifully (you can see all of them here) — now it’s Michael Blumenthal’s turn. This is a piece of a longer poem which I find lovely at parts, and a little overdone at others.
The title of the poem is a reference to some advice Henry James gave to his nephew (“Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind”) and its simplicity should not mask its truth. Little acts of kindness, regardless of how the world responds, are beautiful things.
September 11, 2014 at 12:49pm
Yes, Dorian, you will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you have never had the courage to commit.
— Oscar Wilde was hardly religious — earlier in The Picture of Dorian Gray, Lord Henry says: “…the terror of God, which is the secret of religion…” — so his reference to “sin” here is perfectly secular. It also couples nicely with another one of Lord Henry’s lines, equally encouraging of greater levity and enjoyment: “Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world’s original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, history would have been different.” From Sam Spade to Duke Ellington, Hunter S. Thompson to Thoreau, history (and little hunches) drips with advice on what it means to truly live. Now we have Oscar Wilde’s version — get sinful.
September 10, 2014 at 1:19pm
Sputnik Sweetheart is the third Murakami book I have read — Norwegian Wood and The Wind-up Bird Chronicle being the other two — and I loved it. Along with Notes From Underground (or perhaps Kafka’s The Trial — indeed, Murakami’s narrator in Sputnik Sweetheart is also named “K”), I’m not sure I’ve ever read a better existential novel.
It has many wonderful, typical Murakami elements: blurred lines between reality and fantasy, people gone missing, long correspondence over the phone or through letters, references to Western music and literature, loneliness, searches for meaningful connection, bizarre relationships with love, cats, unclear endings — but the combination here is one that caught me quite surprisingly.
I firmly believe that the impact of a book is inseparable from the time (and place) you read it. It’s why I write so much in the cover of books I read, and why I also find it hard to recommend books for people: I loved Infinite Jest, but the reasons why extend far beyond the tortured prose found between the covers. I have plane tickets from Central America wedged in its pages, receipts from bars in Belize where I read it over the course of a few beers and the afternoon, and troubled, confused notes stacked on top of each other in the margins. They all combine into something incomplete that begins to suggest why it was such a special book for me. All of those things, however, would most likely mean nothing to anyone else.
The same applies here. I loved this book because I loved it — sort of the why-less response that many people find unsatisfactory. There was one passage in particular, extremely bleak and dark, that made me put the book down for a while and think:
"So that’s how we live our lives. No matter how deep and fatal the loss, no matter how important the thing that’s stolen from us — that’s snatched right out of our hands — even if we are left completely changed, with only the outer layer of skin from before, we continue to play out our lives this way, in silence. We draw ever nearer to the end of our allotted span of time, bidding it farewell as it trails off behind. Repeating, often adroitly, the endless deeds of the everyday. Leaving behind a feeling of immeasurable emptiness."
The reaction to this shouldn’t be one of rightness or wrongness. It’s not whether or not you agree, squirm, want to think happy thoughts, or could never imagine diving into a world of such isolation or solitude. Not at all. I believe that he forces you into an intensely personal realm — one he mentions more positively in the quote you see in the photo above — where you will only truly experience the world you are born into if you don’t let anything stop you from knowing yourself. The small things and the large things, the nicer edges and the ones you’d like to file, the hours of sadness and the hours of joy. And, like it or not, I would bet that we have all felt the way he just described at one point or another.
It’s another way of saying what Martin Buber — the Austrian-born existentialist — did: “All real living is meeting.” Or the common Buddhist refrain about facing the world and not hiding from it. Or what James Joyce had Leopold Bloom spend his ordinary day in Dublin doing in Ulysses.
Time will pass and the world will spin irrespective of our participation. But life — in all its smiles and tears — is the briefest of experiences. Fill it as you may, but let it unfold as it will, meeting it at every corner.
September 8, 2014 at 7:59am
Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life.
— Bemoan Jack Kerouac’s self-pity all you like — I certainly do — but if you wander and search and explore, your paths will definitely cross. This is from On the Road, a wonderfully tortured and scattered book that people inevitably love or hate. I read it in New Jersey when I was 19 after I drove there from Tennessee, and after a couple of weeks there, I took a Greyhound Bus to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. And today, like then, with my battered suitcases piled on the sidewalk, I have the same yearning for more: other languages, delicious local food, falling asleep to the unfamiliar chorus of a new city, looking out across a different river, and finding cozy places with fireplaces to sit and read and write and watch the snow fall at Christmas time. I’m not sure what’s next or where’s next, but I do know that everything unsolved in my heart is nothing to warrant worry. A smile, yes, but not worry.
September 2, 2014 at 1:07pm
These are the final lines of his poem, which begins: “Wayfarer, the only way is your footsteps, there is no other.” It’s another, more beautiful way of saying something else I love — also originally written in Spanish — “Roads are made by walking.”
I consider my path quite often — sometimes peacefully, sometimes more judgmentally — and it’s something of a challenge to calmly accept the foam trails left behind. But that is supposed to be the challenge: how to shift from making to accepting, finding the love that comes with “at-one-ness” with whatever.
And so, I find myself leaning forward a little more, enjoying the shift of things as they come to pass.
No, this is about standing up in the midst of the world that you live and not hiding — turning back towards what’s actually happening.
— I had originally planned on featuring these words instead — "We are all messy miracles, but we deny the miraculous when we identify only with the mess" — but, quite obviously, did not. Both belong to Flint Sparks, the first from his talk at TEDx Austin in 2011, the second from this lovely blog. One of the greatest gifts Flint has given me is true belief in the first quote, and because of that, I have been able to find comfort in the messy miraculousness I used to so deeply question. In other words, the first quote empowered belief in the second, and although my many questions have not disappeared (quite the opposite, they are encouraged), the anxiety about non-perfection is no longer so weighted and haunting. It all reminds me of this, and because it does, it is not so difficult for me to imagine a lovely, peaceful meeting between Flint and Rumi — both sitting peacefully in a field, meeting the world and themselves in all their miraculous messiness.
The incomparable Mary Oliver is back for her seventh appearance on little hunches (click through this link to see her other six). Her words stand so beautifully on their own, and I had every intention to leave them that way. The only problem, though, is that when I read this — especially the final line — I hear Neil Young singing, and I also think of David Whyte and his perfectly simple advice for everyone who wants more out of life: start close in.
The three of them make a powerful combination.
August 25, 2014 at 3:17pm
My brother sent me this a while ago, and if you’re interested in a longer piece about creativity and genius — or if you want to understand little hunches
from a more scientific perspective — give it a read. My website exists to provoke thought, not to spew cliches or inspiration. And my goal is for you to take what lives here and connect it to the rumblings of your mind.
By definition, that combination is unique to each of us, and any result is entirely unpredictable. You may pass along what you read, write it in a journal, vociferously condemn it, or ignore it altogether. Regardless, there is
a reaction, and that’s what I care about.
The point, though, is to string these reactions together — to collect all these little hunches purposelessly, uncertain where they may lead, or what effect they have.
Because, as I believe (and as this article maintains), the root of creativity and innovation — or, “bigger” hunches — lies not in a single moment, but in the accumulation of hundreds or thousands of them. Or, as Victor Hugo would say, "…bridges produce houses before palaces…"
"Although we have a definition of creativity that many people accept—the ability to produce something that is novel or original and useful or adaptive—achieving that ‘something’ is part of a complex process, one often depicted as an ‘aha’ or ‘eureka’ experience."
She uses Isaac Newton and his “discovery” of gravity as an example, and indeed, it may the the quintessential one:
"This narrative is appealing—for example, “Newton developed the concept of gravity around 1666, when an apple fell on his head while he was meditating under an apple tree.” The truth is that by 1666, Newton had already spent many years teaching himself the mathematics of his time (Euclidean geometry, algebra, Cartesian coordinates) and inventing calculus so that he could measure planetary orbits and the area under a curve. He continued to work on his theory of gravity over the subsequent years, completing the effort only in 1687, when he published Philosophiœ Naturalis Principia Mathematica. In other words, Newton’s formulation of the concept of gravity took more than 20 years and included multiple components: preparation, incubation, inspiration—a version of the eureka experience—and production. Many forms of creativity, from writing a novel to discovering the structure of DNA, require this kind of ongoing, iterative process.”
It’s a fascinating revelation, because it applies to the world, not just renowned inventors:
"[A]lmost all of my subjects confirmed that when eureka moments occur, they tend to be precipitated by long periods of preparation and incubation, and to strike when the mind is relaxed…"
And one concluding point:
"Creative people are better at recognizing relationships, making associations and connections, and seeing things in an original way—seeing things that others cannot see."
To me, this means that you should encourage the wanderings of your mind. Believe in its beauty, do things your way, and go on creating yourself endlessly.
Then he continued: “And I can sing the blues so deep, until you can have this room full of money and I can give you the blues.” He was born on this day in 1920 (we only know the Mississippi county in happened in), and spent most of the next eight decades rambling up and down the fretboard on his guitar, talking and telling stories. Blues guitarists from the Mississippi Delta sang of a few things, but hardship was one of them, and Hooker recognized this early on: “They wasn’t gonna to give you nothin’.” And again, he then continued: “I didn’t care as long as they let me play my music.”
Music appears often on little hunches, from Neil Young to John Cage, Led Zeppelin (is there any band more blues-inspired?) to the poetry of Theodore Roethke, and there’s a reason: it’s such a beautiful medium for emotion — sometimes in its most honest form.
There may not be many more truly American things than the blues, and what an incredible part of its creation. It’s simple, honest, and everywhere — as Leadbelly once said, “When you lie down at night, turning from side to side, and you can’t be satisfied no way you do, Old Man Blues got you.”